UUJAZ: May17>International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia

…from UUJAZ

  • May 17 mobilizations are raising awareness
    • of violence,
    • discrimination, and
    • repression
  • of LGBT communities worldwide

Choice by Zr. Alex Kapitan

I want to talk about choice.

I want to talk about the fact that…

  • just because someone — who is out to destroy you — says
    • You chose to be the way you are.
  • [that] does not mean “the path of best protection” — is to counter with
    • No I didn’t, it’s not a choice, I was born this way and I’ve always been this way.

Is who I am—my sexuality, my gender—a deep and real part of me, close to my soul?

  • Yes.

Are there choices involved?

  • Of course there are
  • I have made one choice after another
    • to feel more at ease, more vibrant, more alive.
  • I chose to change my name.
  • I chose to allow myself to open to the idea that I might be attracted to women.
  • I chose to open myself to the idea that
    • first of all genderqueer people exist,
    • second that I might be one, and
    • third that I might be attracted to other genderqueer folks.
    • After all of this…
  • I chose to remain open to the idea that
    • I was still attracted to men and might actually like being in a relationship with one.

If I hadn’t made these choices…

  • I never could have lived into my full authentic self.

And you know, there are some things that are more attractive to me than gender.

  • I am attracted to feminists.
  • I’m attracted to queer people, and radicals.
  • I am attracted to people who are assertive and like to make decisions.
  • Is any of this biologically hardwired into me?
    • Probably not.
  • Is all of it impacted by culture?
    • Definitely.
  • But do I have every right to pursue relationships and experiences with whoever I want — because it’s my body and my sexuality?
    • YES.

It doesn’t matter — who I seek intimacy, ecstasy, joy, or camaraderie with…

  • Sexuality is sacred.
  • Love is sacred.
  • And I deserve and demand
    • the right
      • to full control over my body
        • and what I do with it
        • and who I share it with.


If anyone ever tries to invalidate you — or the way you seek intimacy…

  • by saying “it’s just a choice”…
  • Tell them
    • choice is sacred.
  • Tell them
    • the inherent right of every person
      • to have full authority and agency over choices they make about their lives and their bodies
      • is a spiritual and human imperative
    • That there is a word for this — and it’s liberation.
    • That there is nothing more worth fighting for.
  • Tell them
    • that in your faith tradition…
      • we don’t love people despite their differences
        • or because they can’t help being different
      • we love people because of their differences
        • and because diversity enriches our world and our communities.
  • Tell them
    • that in the final reckoning…
    • there is only one choice that will be judged,
      • and that’s their choice.
  • Tell them
    • you hope they choose love.


~ by Zr. Alex Kapitan


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